19They are doomed and their [a]fate is eternal misery (perdition); their god is their stomach (their appetites, their sensuality) and they glory in their shame, [b]abiding with earthly things and being of their party.It is around this time of Lent that one begins realizing one's place and sinfulness. Some say that God sometimes lifts his Grace a little that we might know humility. Lately it seems I have become more aware of the insatiability of my appetite. Not that I am given over to a specific fervor per se, such as alcoholism or something of that manner, but rather it is a constant murmur of selfish indulgence. Anything from delaying homework and studying, to eating more food than I really need. Indeed, we notice first in our belly how much we crave what we do not need. If I buy some sweet thing, even before finishing it I want another! If I give in to this I want yet a third! Yet fulfilling these lusts never leads one to contentment. Rather it seems to war against the fabric of peace in our hearts, which is Christ and him crucified.
Ascetism apparently comes from the Greek meaning something along the lines of struggle, exercise, etc, which in a undeveloped way reminds me of Jacob being called Israel after his struggle with "a man". Hmmm, truthfully that passage leads me somewhat mystified though it would be nice to read some commentary of the Fathers on such a verse... anyways getting back on topic.
Overall Lent is always a failure in the sense that we never become perfect by human effort, and always a success (God willing!) in the sense that we realize that only by being humble and "weeping and lamenting" before Christ can we be saved. Only by his Grace.
God grant me erasure of my vanity and dissuade the passions of lust in me! Ambition, idleness, slothfulness, idle talking... These are the passions that wage war against mankind, against me.
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